It's true. I live in crazy land. It's hard and I get depressed a lot. I love Gabe. He's a beautiful little human but he sure knows how to push the buttons. I'm sure it's not "know," but more of a "I'm three and I have an undeveloped brain" thing. There is a reason why I chose not to teach children and why I've decided to stick with one.
So....let's see what's in crazy land recently. I want Gabe to have lots of opportunities to experience different things, pick up skills, play sports, dance, see the world and all that. So I thought I'd start with T-ball. Seems harmless enough. I even picked up a little cheap t-ball set from Wal-Mart during the mild Winter months. He actually seemed to enjoy throwing some balls and hitting the ball and even running around a fake base or two. I thought it would be a sure thing to get him involved with our city's t-ball team. I also want to be super involved with whatever he wants/happens to be doing, and so I volunteered to be assistant coach for our team....sigh.
Gabe has absolutely no desire to play. He maybe play for 2 seconds with his neighbor friend. Games are even worse. So each week for games and practice my dearly devoted hubby has to take him home. So now I'm volunteering to help coach a bunch of 3 and 4-year-olds. Not a pretty picture. It's chaos. But I want it to be enjoyable so I don't want him to get a bad taste with not playing. We just let him enjoy it as much or as little as he likes and hope next year he'll want to participate more. But that leaves me stuck with the coaching thing. Oh well, you live and learn.
Then there's the puking this weekend. Can anything break a parent's heart more when there is literally nothing you can do to stop the endless puking? His little heaving body just broke my heart. Thankfully, it was only a 24-hour flu. Just lots of cuddles and kisses. That makes up for everything, at least for now.
Being apart of crazy land means that not all hope is lost. He keeps me guessing, hopping, frustrated, loved, excited, scared. Most of the time I feel like an absolute failure. I yell too much. I don't feed him well. I don't give enough love. Whatever. But then there's Mother's Day. And he makes a cute little impression of his hand, colors it with paints, and helps Daddy paint a plaque and glue on letters that say "I love you Mama."
I guess we just do our best and hope we didn't screw him up too badly ;) Gotta love Crazy Land! (well, sometimes, at least.)
I will get a new camera soon and then I'll post the adorable Mother's Day gift!