Family Pictures 2013!

It's been almost 2.5 years since we last got our family pictures done! Way too long, I know. At least once a year, right?

Well, my beautiful friend Jill agreed to take our pictures up at a lovely site in the mountains!

I think they turned out pretty good. :)

Spring Hiking!

We've been doing a lot of hiking the last month. I've gone twice with friends and once with Gabe. Gorgeous mountains of Utah!

G-Hike!

Donut Hike

Bell Canyon

Mother's Day 2013

I awoke to a fabulous cuisine of....Reese's Peanut Butter cups and peach rings! And an adorable card drawn by Gabe at preschool along with a cute decorated planter and plant.

We headed over to Denny's for some Mother's Day brunch and coffee.

Then it was over the local splash park for some fun with water. Just a relaxing afternoon with Gabe and Archie. It's Spring and so I decided to put in my flower barrette that my beautiful friend Sarah made for me back in February and my Spring dress.

It was a gorgeous day and we spent the rest of it with my mother and my sister's, bbqing and talking and eating dessert while Gabe ran amok with his cousin Mailia!

I wanted to say some other things about Mother's Day. I know this is a day that can cause a lot of distress and anxiety for so many women. If you are a woman who's never wanted children of her own, it can be a day of judgment and misunderstanding. If you have lost a child it can be a day of depression and anger. If you don't have enough children or too many or don't have a "normal" family, it can cause the day to be quite stressful.

I go back and forth on this because I'm not the most nurturing of mothers. I don't fit that typical role. It's tough and because it's so damn tough for me, Archie and I have chosen to only have Gabe. And sometimes this day causes anxiety for me because I feel guilty. I shouldn't have a day lavished on me because I don't fit the "role" or whatever. It's dumb but they're feelings and they affect me.

But I try to think about how I care about people in general. I empathize, I want the world to be a better place. I love my son and my friends and my family. I have cats. I nurture them. I have plants outside on my porch that I try to nurture (some days are better than others). I try to nurture my friends' kids. My point is I think most of us (men too) are nurturers. We "mother" things, people, Earth, etc. I think it's a day to celebrate life and the nurturing of that life in whatever form that takes.

Happy nurturing and life day to all :)

Life and Death

I lost two very important loved ones these last two weeks. My eldest brother died from suicide on April 17th. My beautiful brother who was in so much pain from constant depression and severe anxiety. I'm lucky to have been apart of his life for my 32 years. I will miss him so much but I know he hurt so much and that in death he is now at peace.

Just a few days later one of my very close friends went into a coma following elective surgery and was taken off life support a few days after that. I am heart-broken for those she leaves behind. I have a hole in my heart and soul that will never be filled again. With her death she took part of it.

My friend was a giver. She gave her whole heart. She made everyone feel how special they are. She gave hugs and her laugh was intoxicating. She sent her love to all in any way she could. She loved dark beer. She was insightful. She babysat my son so my husband and I could go out for a few ours for our anniversary. She was always willing to listen to others despite the shit going on in her own.



She had lost her younger sister just 6 weeks earlier and she was there for me for the few days when I told her about my own brother. She told me she'd be there for me, maybe a bit drugged up because of the pain meds, but we would grieve for our siblings together. I told her I loved her and I'd see her after her surgery. I never got to.

My beautiful Sarah, you are a giver and a lover. Forever in my heart and soul.

How do I move on? I take care of my family and hug my son and husband a bit more. I appreciate more my friends and don't take them for granted. I breathe in life as best I can and live it. Each second I have is amazing. It's a very short time I'm alive. I gotta live it.

I take her beautiful girls and give them hugs and memories of their beautiful mother.

Life is not fair. But life just is. The good, the bad, and the in-between. Gut-wrenching and awe-inspiring all in one. That's the risk we take in living is loving. We give pieces of our hearts and soul to those we love and in turn they give is theirs. That's what makes life worth living is the ones we love and love us back. Humanity. We are here for each other and to me that is the most meaningful part of life. We take our memories and live our lives and our loved ones live on in our hearts and minds.

Our memories build a special bridge

When loved one have to part

To help us feel we're with them still

And soothe a grieving heart

They span the years and warm our lives

preserving ties that bind

Our memories build a special bridge

And brings us peace of mind

----Emily Matthews

Springtime!!!!

It's crazy how fast time flies. We've already seen Gabe turn 4

Happy 4th, Gabe!

and now Spring is officially here. Easter is a great way to celebrate Spring and rebirth and the cycles of life, and flowers!

Easter egg coloring!

Spring art with crayons and a blow dryer :)

I even got a hike in before the plague of death (aka Influenza) hit our house for two weeks, which we're still recovering from....

Hiked up to Battle Creek near our home

I loved the Sun with the trees

I planted a few flowers in some containers. We have no yard to speak of so we have to make use of our tiny front and back porches. We do have some side dirt too, but the dirt is horrible so we'll have to figure out how to get the dirt from clay to good soil!

My first attempt at planting flowers!

Gabe and his kitty Shadow snuggling

And to celebrate Spring and Easter we headed out to the Holi Festival of Colors at our local Hare Krishna Temple...

I also break out my cooking chops and make crepes Easter morning and invite up my family to share with them. I've been doing this for the past three years!!!

So a big hearty welcome to Spring. Even though it's literally cloudy and raining outside while I type this, I know warm days are continually just around the corner.

Oh, and to top it all off, I watched The Hobbit for the first time with my brother, son, and hubby :) A perfect way to end the day.

Sundance Film Festival 2013!

I've always wanted to go and so I did! I wanted Archie to come with too and so I had him weigh in on the movie selection. Sundance usually carries some pretty dramatic fare so when we came upon Austenland for a selection, we jumped on it!

Jerusha Hess directed it. Her husband, Jared, was the director behind the excellent movies of Napolean Dynamite and Nacho Libre, and I know she had a lot of input on both of those movies. I figured it would have a lot of comedic quirkiness to it. I also read the book a few years ago and knew that a truly comedic approach would spice it up, since the book was only so-so.

It was a big date! My mom came up to watch Gabe and we ate a fun bar n grill for lunch and then up onto Ogden. Not a prime spot for premieres and celebrities, but I didn't care about that. It was fun to see Ogden like this. We walked around downtown for a bit and found a coffee shop, warmed our feet by the fire, and sipped our hot drinks. Then we made it back in time to get in line for a couple of hours. I didn't mind, though. Archie is a talker when he's feeling good. And he was feeling good. He was friendly with everyone in line and we talked with a few regular volunteers for the Festival. We learned some history about Ogden.

The theater is beautiful. It's Egyptian-themed and has been renovated a few times over the last 100 years. It holds about 800 people and it was packed. They even have an organ! The organist played some awesome tunes for us before the movie started. The director came on stage and introduced the movie and we sat back and laughed out arses off! It was hilarious!!! It was so funny, I was crying. My sides hurt. The energy of the place was tangible. I loved every aspect of it.

After the movie, both the director and the author, Shannon Hale, got on stage for a Q&A. They were open, funny, and friendly. They shared a lot of fun tidbits about how the movie was made, funny tidbits with the actors and crew, etc.

They even had a little reception afterward with free appetizers and live music!

It was a great time and I'll probably attend again in Ogden. Great atmosphere and great people.